Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize