I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
This is the high leading the old right now
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
