Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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