just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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