the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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