please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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