Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
