The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
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Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
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Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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