too bad you live with your parents still
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
