guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
