Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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