I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
