I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
