Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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