my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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