Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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