im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
