help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
