I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
