Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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