White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize