help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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