Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
