I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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