I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
