Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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