So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
