Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
