windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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