omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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