she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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