jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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