Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
