Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
