VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
