My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You have to summon your inner elephant
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
