How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
