theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
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I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
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Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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