so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize