o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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