I think I am morally bankrupt
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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