oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
