its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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