i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
