hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize