i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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