Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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