Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Randomize
