i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
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Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
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She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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