So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
