We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
