Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking

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  (732): so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking http://tfl.nu/oxvr
  Replies (5) Good night (777) Bad night (1875)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Good. You are like the clit whisperer.

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  (320): Good. You are like the clit whisperer. http://tfl.nu/ycvo
  Replies (26) Good night (6692) Bad night (588)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too

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  (614): Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too http://tfl.nu/p8r6
  Replies (24) Good night (653) Bad night (1982)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.

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  (970): Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it. http://tfl.nu/yvle
  Replies (12) Good night (728) Bad night (3489)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home

  (419): View more from Ohio

  move.

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  (513): i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home (419): move. http://tfl.nu/91am
  Replies (19) Good night (1006) Bad night (7318)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.

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  (847): i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick. http://tfl.nu/gssh
  Replies (20) Good night (3773) Bad night (1211)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop

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  (409): I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop http://tfl.nu/6219
  Replies (16) Good night (936) Bad night (9108)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.

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  (216): My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak. http://tfl.nu/lf5p
  Replies (2) Good night (912) Bad night (1692)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.

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  (765): If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs. http://tfl.nu/un7a
  Replies (2) Good night (1580) Bad night (621)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.

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  (214): Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming. http://tfl.nu/yp4i
  Replies (21) Good night (1454) Bad night (1362)
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  (916): View more from California

  I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.

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  (916): I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made. http://tfl.nu/41km
  Replies (5) Good night (1276) Bad night (474)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.

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  (617): The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead. http://tfl.nu/eujj
  Replies (3) Good night (673) Bad night (476)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.

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  (727): This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners. http://tfl.nu/f1o4
  Replies (2) Good night (670) Bad night (318)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff

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  (229): I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff http://tfl.nu/s9sx
  Replies (6) Good night (1147) Bad night (247)
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  (310): View more from California

  you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer

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  (310): you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer http://tfl.nu/3y4u
  Replies (0) Good night (534) Bad night (240)

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