when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
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how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
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We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!