just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.