Texts From Last Night

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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.

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  (218): Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job. http://tfl.nu/1e2u
  Replies (14) Good night (2811) Bad night (1021)
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  (530): View more from California

  i'm lost and i look like a hooker

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  (530): i'm lost and i look like a hooker http://tfl.nu/mbk3
  Replies (18) Good night (1350) Bad night (3925)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true

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  (317): Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true http://tfl.nu/12zv
  Replies (34) Good night (5647) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks

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  (631): I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks http://tfl.nu/hotd
  Replies (244) Good night (1025) Bad night (3819)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"

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  (719): He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that" http://tfl.nu/ec8j
  Replies (11) Good night (7938) Bad night (1750)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.

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  (847): 2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take. http://tfl.nu/jq3u
  Replies (20) Good night (2676) Bad night (1373)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever

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  (570): After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever http://tfl.nu/uu6v
  Replies (15) Good night (2644) Bad night (574)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now

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  (832): I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now http://tfl.nu/6g0n
  Replies (10) Good night (2538) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.

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  (601): It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face. http://tfl.nu/wypl
  Replies (9) Good night (3091) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.

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  (905): I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it. http://tfl.nu/6c57
  Replies (2) Good night (2174) Bad night (472)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.

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  (706): Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence. http://tfl.nu/oul5
  Replies (0) Good night (1027) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.

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  (612): Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked. http://tfl.nu/oddr
  Replies (8) Good night (1428) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly

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  (561): I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly http://tfl.nu/d11t
  Replies (12) Good night (799) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink

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  (705): how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink http://tfl.nu/hb4c
  Replies (3) Good night (983) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.

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  (580): Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style. http://tfl.nu/uibp
  Replies (3) Good night (178) Bad night (474)

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