bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.