I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks