Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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