Will you blow on my dice?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
