in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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