I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
