just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
