worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So vagazzling was a success
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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