Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
