So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
