i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
