I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
