OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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