Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
