As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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